Unit12 Innovation 写作技巧点拨(解析版)

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Unit12 Innovation写作技巧点拨
介绍一位发明家及其发明
文体感知
对发明家及其发明的介绍属于人物介绍类文章，是一种以写人记事为主的文体。写人时主要交代某人的生平。对人物的生平及事迹介绍通常以事情发生的先后为顺序，一般包含：出生及童年、兴趣与事业、苦干与成功、成就与影响。写作时应注意以下几点：
1．突出重点、略加点评： 一个人一生所做的事情有很多，要抓住人物的主要活动和事迹来写。在人物简介中，要对人物作简短的评论。这种点评必须简洁明了，一语道破。
2．叙述精炼，防止渲染：人物简介，即便是介绍人物的重要活动和事迹，也必须高度精炼。
增分佳句
1．He/She was one of the greatest scientists in the 20th century.
2．He/She studied at a local high school and graduated from Peking University.
3．He/She is such a learned/strong-willed person that we all admire/respect him/her.
4．He/She devoted all his/her life to the work.
5．He/She made great contributions to our country.
6．He/She was highly thought of by many people.
7．He/She will live in the hearts of us forever.
8．Qian Xuesen，regarded as the father of China's space program, was born in 1911 in Shanghai.
9．In 1950, he heard New China had been founded and succeeded in coming back to his homeland in 1955.
10．Being kind and helpful, she always enjoys helping others out.
11．She gets on well with almost everyone and is always welcome wherever she goes.
12．People spoke highly of him and all respected him.
满分作文特训
写作要求
请根据以下内容写一篇文章介绍中国科学家钱学森。
1．1911年生于上海，1935年，钱学森赴美深造，因其卓越的成就而受到冯·卡门(Von Karman)的高度评价；
2．1938年，他在美国获得了航空航天科学和数学博士学位；
3．于1955年成功回到祖国，尽管美国政府试图阻止他；
4．1958年起长期担任航空航天研究工作，为中国的航天事业做出了巨大的贡献，被誉为“中国航天之父”；
5．2009年于北京去世。
参考词汇：航空航天科学技术(aerospace science and technology)
审题谋篇
第一步：审题构思很关键


第二步：由词扩句雏形现
1．他1911年生于上海。
He was__born__in Shanghai in 1911.
2．1935年，钱学森赴美深造，因其卓越的成就而受到冯·卡门的高度评价。
In 1935, Qian went to America for further study and was__highly__thought__of by Von Karman because of his great achievements.
3．1938年，他在美国获得了航空航天科学和数学博士学位。
In 1938, he obtained__his__doctor's__degree__in__aerospace__science__and__mathematics in the US.
4．他于 1955 年成功回到祖国，尽管美国政府试图阻止他。
He succeeded__in__coming__back__to__his__homeland in 1955 though the American government tried to stop him.
5．1958年起长期担任航空航天研究工作，为中国的航天事业做出巨大的贡献。
Since 1958 he had__been__devoted__to aerospace research and contributed__a__lot__to__the__cause__of China's aerospace.
6．他被誉为“中国航天之父”。
He was__regarded__as the father of China's space program.
7．2009年他于北京去世。
In 2009, he passed__away in Beijing.
第三步：句式升级造亮点
1．用过去分词短语合并第二步中的句1和句6
Qian__Xuesen,__regarded__as__the__father__of__China's__space__program,__was__born__in__Shanghai__in__1911.
2．用定语从句改写第二步中的句2
In__1935,__Qian__went__to__America__for__further__study,__where__he__was__highly__thought__of__by__Von__Karman__because__of__his__great__achievements.
第四步：过渡衔接连成篇
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One possible version：
Qian Xuesen, regarded as the father of China's space program, was born in Shanghai in 1911. In 1935,  Qian went to America for further study, where he was highly thought of by Von Karman because of his great achievements. In 1938, he obtained his doctor's degree in aerospace science and mathematics in the US. He succeeded in coming back to his homeland in 1955 though the American government tried to stop him. Since 1958 he had been devoted to aerospace research and contributed a lot to the cause of China's aerospace and in 2009，he passed away in Beijing.
Because of the love for his country and the great achievements, he has received the respect and admiration from his people.
实战演练
假设你是红星中学高三学生李华。你校举行“学习抗疫英雄钟南山”的征文活动，请你根据以下要点介绍钟南山。
1.钟南山于1936年出生在江苏南京，1960年毕业于北京医学院，是21世纪最著名的医学科学家之一；
2.2003 年奋战在抗击非典第一线，2020年初，84岁高龄的他再战新冠肺炎防疫最前线；
3.他既是一位好医生，也是一名慈爱的医学教授，他是值得我们学习的好榜样。
注意：1.词数100左右；
2．可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。
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One possible version：
Zhong Nanshan is one of the premier medical scientists in the 21st century. He was born in Nanjing, Jiangsu Province in 1936 and graduated from Beijing Medical College in 1960.This ordinary but great man has been working in the medical field for over 50 years.
In the spring of 2003, the SARS epidemic broke out. Zhong not only led but also took an active part in the battle against SARS. In 2020, Zhong aged 84, as head of a high-level expert team, fought against the COVID-2019.
Zhong Nanshan is devoted to the medical cause. He is a good doctor and a kind medical professor as well. He set so good an example for us students that we all should learn from him.